


You're The Brightest Star In My Universe

by artisticvelvet



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 10:21:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19665481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisticvelvet/pseuds/artisticvelvet
Summary: Seulgi meets her soulmate when the clock strikes at the beginning of a new year.





	You're The Brightest Star In My Universe

Seulgi laid down on the soft grass of the park, resting her head on her arms as she observed the night sky painted with shimmering stars.

Her eyes travelled over the canvas searching for the luminous object which had accompanied her ever since she had breathed her first breath.

A star different from the others.

***

Between the billions of stars dominating the different galaxies, one was assigned to each of the nearly 8 billion humans roaming over the grounds of the earth, guiding them towards their soulmate, the one who would complete them.

The colour and the amount of brightness that one’s personal star would display, indicated the distance between them and their soulmate.

If the star seemed small and dim, it meant that their other half was far away.

If the star radiated an intense amount of light, it meant that the one they were searching for was near. A light that even the star of Sirius could not match, visible throughout days covered in glorious sunlight until the darkest of nights.

Solely the individual and their soulmate could see each other’s stars. Two glimmering orbs in the sky that symbolized their bond.

However, if one of them came to die, their star would fall from the sky and disappear. It was said that stars would fall so that their soulmates could occupy their places in the sky, which is why people often wished on a falling star, hoping for the safe arrival of their lover’s soul.

This is what her mother had told her and many others around her.

Seulgi had often wondered how it would feel like to meet her soulmate. People around her had always told her different things, expressed a variety of emotions, not one experience identical to the other, but each one unique in its own way.

This had been all Seulgi could think about, daydreams which lasted from the first second of opened eyes in the earliest of mornings to the last second as she laid in bed during the deepest nights, unable to fall asleep.

Unable to brush aside the turmoil she had been experiencing for what had seemed like an interminable amount of time.

Just before her best friend, Seungwan, had left on a vacation to visit her family in Canada, she had advised her to search for some peace in nature.

“I heard it works from others, so you could try that out?”

That’s what she had said after listening to Seulgi’s sighs and noticing the grave and gloomy tone in her voice.

“I guess I could…”, Seulgi had answered, not sounding very convinced.

“I wished I could help more Seul… are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”

The taller girl had immediately shaken her head, strongly against the idea.

“I’ll be fine”, she had said, forcing a smile.

She knew she wouldn’t.

However, the last thing she wanted was for Seungwan to miss out on spending New Years with her family, who she hadn’t seen for two years.

So, she had settled on wrapping her best friend in a tight hug when she dropped her at the airport, hoping that the feeling of security she experienced from their embrace would get her through a month without the person dearest to her.

But it had not been enough.

As soon as Seungwan had left, Seulgi could feel the emptiness in her soul increase, suffocating her and stabbing her heart.

She repeatedly wondered whether the void she felt was the result of the existence of soulmates. Whether it was fuelled by their absence in her life.

Seulgi and Seungwan had often called themselves each other’s platonic soulmates.

_“We often talk about soulmates in romantic aspects and stuff but… I feel like platonic soulmates also exist, you know? Even if it is not as shiny as the stars, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist right?”, Seungwan had said._

_“I think our friendship proves its existence”, Seulgi had answered, her smiling growing at the sight of her best friend’s bigger one._

_“I think so too.”_

Seulgi had meant what she had said, and she truly believed in it.

Whenever Seungwan was around, the agonizing feeling inside her would become more bearable.

And it gave her strength to continue and persevere.

However, though it became more bearable, its existence remained a fact and more often than not, Seulgi felt as if she was being buried into a dark hole, unable to scream and escape. As if nails dug into her heart and made it hurt and bleed and deepened her scars, leaving their marks on broken glass, scratching and scratching until she managed to snap out of her anguish, breathing heavily and searching for air.

She would wonder whether she herself was responsible for the despair she was living in.

She would wonder whether her soulmate would be able to help her.

It made Seulgi realize that even though Seungwan made things slightly lighter and more bearable, that it was not enough.

And this made her ponder on whether humanity had been right to grace the universe for blessing them with the strong bond of soulmates.

With their other half.

As it felt more like a curse to her than not.

***

She traced a line between the two stars, drawing a string which tied them together, pulling at it and hoping that it would bring them closer.

With a sigh, Seulgi let her arm fall to her side before carefully caressing her chest, feeling the stinging beats of her heart underneath her fingers and the tightening knot in her stomach.

As Seulgi found herself feeling trapped in the grand scheme of things, increasing with every minute that passed by, she thought about the possibility of another version of herself in some alternative universe who prayed for the existence of fate and predestined bonds between souls, tired of the chaotic sides of life.

A version of herself that wished for the unattainable.

Like she herself wished for the elimination of destiny.

Which had brought her more despair than hope.

With these heavy emotions in her heart, close to the feeling of being burnt to ashes, Seulgi lifted herself off the grass deciding that it was time to go home.

Home where she felt the loneliest, especially because of Seungwan’s absence.

And where she would spend the rest of the month thinking of her past, her present and her future. Of the stars, of love, life and death, everything in between and outside.

Wishing for a better life. A happier life.

Clinging to the last bit of hope remaining.

Her mind drowned in thoughts and her heart filled with tears.

She wiped off the bits of grass off her jacket, put her hands in her pockets and dragged herself through the busy park, filled with people spending their day together to celebrate their love in the light of Christmas.

Seulgi could not hear their voices, shutting them off, her eyes solely focused on the stars in the sky, her own voice loud in her ears.

_What if what if what if what if_

That’s all she could think about. Possibilities linked to bad endings.

She sighed once again, before redirecting her gaze away from the sky to look at the ground she was stepping, seeking to find peace in the earth instead of the clouds.

After walking for 30 minutes, taking a longer route in order to avoid the loneliness of her room as long as possible, not once having taken a look at the shining object painted on the canvas of the sky, she felt her eyes gaining a will of their own as her heart won the battle against her brain, forcing her to look up.

She had expected a few things.

For the two stars to shine as brightly, or as weakly, as before.

Or maybe, considering the amount of luck she had experienced in her lifetime, the absence of another star. A falling star.

She had expected everything, except for the reality.

The reality of the stars shining more brightly than ever before.

As if the sun had become the moon during the day.

And she felt her breath get caught in her throat, her eyes widen and her heartbeat coming to a halt for a mere second.

A few seconds passed by before it had dawned on her. Before everything had sunk in.

Her gaze averted to all corners of the crowd-filled street.

Desperately looking for the one she had been searching for all these years.

Her gaze jumping from face to face, hoping for some sign of the universe, as if a halo would appear above her soulmate’s head, indicating who they were.

She searched desperately clinging to what if felt as if it was her last bit of hope.

As if this would be her only chance at happiness.

Her gaze shifted up and down, and she felt her heart cracking as she noticed how the stars began to gradually lose their brightness.

_No, no, no! Please, please, please, don’t go, don’t go._

Unfortunately, destiny proved her again that it was not on her side as Seulgi’s eyes desperately searched for more glimpses of faces, more seconds of hope, only to find nothing.

She slowly came to a halt, as she looked up at the sky, seeing the brightness of the stars disappear, until she could no longer bear to look at it.

All sorts of questions ran through her head.

_Didn’t they see the stars? Why didn’t they look for me? What if they had already seen me and felt like I wasn’t good enough? What if they found someone else already? What if I was never meant to find them?_

She stared at the ground, the sight of it becoming blurry as tears filled her eyes, her body shaking, her heart filled with sorrow, more painful than ever before.

Seulgi let out a few shaky breaths, before resuming her walk back home, each step further away from the crowd creating a new crack inside of her.

Before she could turn around the corner and leave the busy street behind, she felt a hand gently grabbing her shoulder.

“Hey… are you… are you okay? Do you need any help?”, someone asked. A voice gentle and calming in her ears, filled with genuine concern.

Seulgi almost didn’t dare to look her in the eyes, knowing well how far from collected she looked, baring more resemblance to someone on the way to death rather than life.

Looking how she felt.

Yet, she did look up, her gaze meeting a pair of brown eyes, warm and reassuring.

Making her able to breathe again as if she had put her under a magical spell, slightly relieving some of her pain.

She shook her head.

“There is nothing you can do to help.”

The tone in her voice was colder and more distant than she wanted for it to sound, but in the end she didn’t really care.

She didn’t really care for anything anymore.

“Hm… is it really that bad?”

Seulgi scoffed as she wiped off her tears.

“When it comes to the stars, everything is bad.”

“Oh…”, the girl paused and thought about what to say. Seulgi observed her. She seemed young. Younger than herself. Around 20 years old. Her eyes sparked. Full of positivity, kindness and brightness as well as some hints of mischief. An interesting combination.

“Did you… did you lose your soulmate?”, she asked carefully.

Seulgi knew what she meant. She knew she was indirectly asking her about the possibility of a falling star.

And even though it wasn’t the case, the feelings she was experiencing seemed to be closely related to it.

“Something like that yes.”

“Ah… sorry…”

“It’s okay. I think I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I was destined to be alone anyways.’’

The girl thought for a moment. Contemplating on what to say, before speaking words Seulgi did not expect to hear.

“If it helps… I want you to know that even though you’ve lost your soulmate, it doesn’t mean that you can’t find love.”

Seulgi frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Well… I like to believe that there is someone who is your soulmate, other than the one assigned to you by the stars.”

“Sounds kind of… I don’t know…”

The girl giggled.

“Yea, it sounds unbelievable huh? But it’s true. At least for me it is.”

Seulgi tilted her head to the right, slightly curious despite having the weak urge to fight it.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well… a few years ago… I saw how my soulmate’s star fell…”

“Oh…”, Seulgi felt her heart tighten at the thought. At the pain that came with it. “Sorry…”

“It was quite hard for me. I had always dreamed about finding the one destined for me. It sounded so beautiful and the people around me seemed to be so happy… it had truly become the thing I was living for… so imagine what happened when my worst nightmare came to life…”

Seulgi remained silent, not knowing how to respond.

“I was inconsolable. I cried for such a long time, thinking that I had lost it all. That there was no reason for me to continue. That I would be forever alone… a few years had passed when I finally started to calm down more. And as I thought about it, in the end I realized that it was not over for me. That it didn’t mean the end, you know? So I focused on myself, school, work, friends and stuff like that. And I felt myself getting happier. And you know what?”

“What?”

“It was worth it. Eventually I let go off my hopelessness and it brought me far. Far enough to meet someone who felt like my soulmate, despite not being so-called _star-official_ ”, the girl smirked, hinting at the mischief Seulgi had noted in her eyes.

“She is more than I had ever could asked for, and I see myself to be unbelievably lucky to have met her.”

“But… but what about her… star-soulmate?”, the monolid girl couldn’t help but ask.

“He also died. Car accident. They actually had known each other since they were kids. It had broken her entirely… I guess in a way, it was even worse for her… since she had actually known him. But eventually… she came to the same conclusion as me. Don’t take this wrong. Of course it doesn’t mean her love for him wasn’t real. She still loves him. I would never ask her to stop. But… the way she looks at me, how she is around me… I don’t need any confirmation about how she feels for me. And that’s what she said about me and my star-soulmate as well.”

Seulgi briefly looked at her shoes, letting the story sink in, taking her words to heart.

“So… I want you to know that… this isn’t the end, okay?”’

The monolid girl rubbed the back of her neck, slightly nodding.

“Besides… New Year is coming up! Fresh starts, the usual cliché stuff, know what I mean?”, the girl’s smirk grew.

Seulgi couldn’t help but shoot a small smile back.

“Yea…”

“Good.”

“Hey, Yerim! I found us ice cream!”, a tall girl suddenly appeared with two cups of ice cream in her hands and a big smile on her face.

“Ah finally… I’m starving!”, Yerim took one of the cups in her hands, before giving the tall girl a small peck on her lips. Seulgi raised her eyebrows at the sight of the two eating ice cream during one of the coldest days that winter.

“By the way, your aunt has been texting me like crazy. Guess she didn’t enjoy the idea of us ditching her and Hyun”, the tall girl smirked.

“Ah, Taeyeon can be such a pain in the ass sometimes”, Yerim playfully rolled her eyes.

“She said your sister just took the bus back home.”

“Hyun has become immune to our mischiefs… I can’t believe it has finally happened! How disappointing…”

“Don’t worry. We’ll just up our game”, the tall girl wiggled her eyebrows, before scooping a bit of the ice cream with a small spoon and finally noticing Seulgi’s presence.

“Oh… hi… stranger… I’m Sooyoung!”, the tall girl slightly bowed.

“Seulgi…”

“Are you guys friends?’’

“Nope. I literally just met her”, Yerim casually answered.

“Oeh, sounds like an interesting story”, Sooyoung smiled. “I would like to hear more about it.”

“Uhm… I kind have to go home… I have stuff to do…”

“Hmhm… of course you do”, Yerim smiled a smile that said ‘I know you are lying but it’s okay. I understand.’

“It was…uh… nice to meet you… both of you…”

“It was nice meeting you too! Maybe we’ll see you around later”, Yerim said, making Seulgi frown in confusion. The young girl just shrugged.

“It’s just a possibility. Besides, I feel like we will.’’

“You know… Yerimmie is usually right about this sort of stuff”, Sooyoung said as she took another bite of her ice cream.

“Ah… she is, huh…”, Seulgi rubbed the back of her neck. “See you later then… I guess…”

The two girls waved as she walked away, and she shot one last polite smile before turning around the corner.

The wind blew through her hair, but she didn’t feel any of it, her thoughts wandering to the two girls she had left behind and more particularly Yerim’s story.

She thought about it and then thought about it some more, until she arrived home. After being greeted by unsettling silence, she focused on making dinner for herself. However, thoughts about the earlier story and the glimpse of her soulmate, and the stars constantly plagued her mind.

And eventually, she came to a decision.

That from that day on, she would no longer look at the sky. That she would no longer live in the clouds but remain rooted to the earth.

She would no longer allow for unrealistic dreams to control her life as they had brought her more sorrow than happiness contrary to what most people had told her about soulmates.

And she would no longer believe in fairy tales surrounded by stars.

***

Despite her protests and rebellion, Seulgi found herself being dragged to a New Year’s party by Byul and her girlfriend Yongsun. 

“Come on, it will be fun, I promise!”, Byul said, sounding very sure of her words.

“She is right! Some friends of ours are going to be there and I swear that whenever they are around you can’t help but lighten up”, Yongsun added.

“What is the point in going if I’m not going to watch the fireworks anyways?’’, Seulgi said. She found it hard to find something valuable about going to a party where the most important thing would be to look at the sky at midnight.

“Seul, it’s not just about the fireworks. It’s about being together during the ending of a year and the beginning of a new one!”, Byul protested.

“Correct that. Being together with the ones you love”, Yongsun said.

“Right… or in other words, where the both of you are going to be together and I’ll accompany you as the third-wheeler.”

“And since we are aware of our… habit… to ignore everyone else when are are together, I made sure to invite those friends of mine that I was talking about!’’, Yongsun said, dramatically waving her hands around to emphasize her point.

“What if I don’t like them?”

“You will!’’

“But what if I don’t?”

“Stop thinking about what-ifs and judge after you have met them okay? Stop overthinking things, Seul. You will get bald more quickly’’, Byul smirked.

“Shut up.”

“She’s got a point”, Yongsun shrugged.

“You always say that whenever she is arguing with someone else other than you!’’

“I’ve got to defend my girlfriend. It’s one of my jobs.”

Seulgi let out a frustrated sigh as her gaze went back and forth between the two girls who were looking at her as if all of her arguments had become invalid.

In the end, she let out another sigh as she put her arms up in defeat.

“Okay, okay…. Fine. Fine! I’ll go.”

Just before Byul and Yongsun could squeal in excitement, she interrupted them.

“However, I’ll leave as soon as I don’t feel like being there anymore.”

“Okay, but you have to stay there at least two hours”, Byul suggested.

“30 minutes.”

“One hour and a half”, Byul fought back.

“30 minutes.”

“One hour and 15 minutes”, Yongsun said.

“45 minutes.”

“One hour”, Byul and Yongsun both said in unison.

“… okay… one hour.”

This time, Seulgi let them squeal in excitement as she covered her own ears hoping that she wouldn’t become deaf any time soon.

***

The moment she had set her foot in the crowdy apartment, Seulgi immediately regret all of her life choices. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and sweaty bodies with absolutely no sense of personal space.

The loud bass of the speakers drumming in her ears, making her heart shake violently as it felt as if her insides were about to get lose and fall.

There was absolutely no sight of a quieter place, and apparently the roof was crowded as well.

She immediately regretted her promise of staying at least one hour. But she wouldn’t back down as she was a woman of her word.

So instead, Seulgi decided to stay close to Byul and Yongsun as if her life depended on it.

The two of them seemed to have fun, contrary to Seulgi.

She thought about how having her soulmate next to her might have made things easier to bear. She had seen how it had shaped her two friends, and they seemed to be happier than ever before.

Seulgi quickly shook those thoughts away and reminded herself to not seek after fairy tales any longer.

_It will spare you a lot of pain._

“Seul, want some?”, Byul asked as she held up a cup of whatever-was-in-it.

“It’s kind of strong though’’, Yongsun warned.

Seulgi grabbed the cup and smiled.

“That’s perfect. Thanks”, she said before drinking a bit, shuddering at the bitter and strong taste.

“Oh! Baby, look!”, Byul pointed at the corner of the giant room. “It’s Jennie and Yerim!”

“Oh my god, let’s go!”, Yongsun said after taking a sip of her own drink, taking Byul’s hand in her own and nodding towards the two girls. “Hurry up, Seul!”

Seulgi frowned as the duo almost immediately disappeared from her sight and she quickly followed them, barely holding on to Byul’s free sleeve.

“W-wait for me!”, she said, barely being able to breath as she squeezed herself between the big amount of sweaty and dancing bodies around her.

“Ugh, I didn’t ask for this. Do they want me to die?”, she muttered.

Seulgi couldn’t have been happier to have finally arrived at their destination. The corner of the room seemed to be the least crowded place, and she couldn’t be more thankful for it.

She observed how her friends hugged their friends, all squealing in excitement.

“Okay, okay. Guys this is Seulgi. Seulgi, this is Jennie and Yerim”, Yongsun said, introducing them to each other.

Seulgi slightly bowed, her eyes first focusing on Jennie who had a wide and warm smile on her face.

“Nice to meet you!”

Seulgi smiled back.

She then looked at the shorter girl standing next to her, her eyes suddenly widening in surprise.

“Y… Yerim?”

“Seulgi? Wow! What a surprise!”, Yerim smirked. “Guess, I was right huh? About us meeting again.”

“I guess you were…”

“Wow, hold on there… how do you guys know each other?”, Byul asked.

“We…”, they briefly looked at each other. Seulgi silently prayed that Yerim wouldn’t tell them about her breakdown in the middle of the street. Luckily, she had caught on to her pleads. “We accidentally crashed against each other and began to talk.”

“Is Sooyoung here as well?”, Seulgi asked.

“Yea! She went to catch us some drinks. Oh, there she is!”, Yerim said, waving at the taller girl who appeared from the middle of the crowd.

“Here”, Sooyoung said, as she handed Yerim and Jennie two cups.

“Sooyoung-ie, look who I found!”, the younger girl pointed at Seulgi.

“Oh! Seulgi, wasn’t it?”, Sooyoung smirked. “Told you Yerim is usually right about this sort of stuff.”

Seulgi smiled at the thought.

“I guess she really is.”

“Where is Joohyun by the way?”, Yongsun asked. “Don’t tell me she stayed home again…”

“No, she came along. But you know my sister… she couldn’t handle this much crowd for too long, so she went outside to have fresh air. She said she would be back soon though’’, Yerim said.

“Classic Hyun”, Byul chuckled.

“So, how have you guys been doing? It’s been two months! Way too long…”, Yongsun pouted.

“It has been such a busy time. Thank God, it’s Christmas break”, Jennie sighed.

Seulgi watched how the five of them talked and talked.

However, she suddenly felt like she was suffocating in the hot and crowdy room, who seemed to grow busier as time went by.

In the end, she decided to secretly leave them behind in order to have some fresh air outside.

Seulgi breathed in the cold air as if it was her last.

She looked at her watch.

“7 minutes to go…”

7 minutes until she was allowed to go away and until the clock struck midnight.

She leant against the wall next to the entrance, observing people entering and exiting, as she took a few more sips of her drink, her mind wandering to places she should not think about.

Like an internal fight within her between the internal and external.

The thought of the sky above her burned against her skin, and it felt heavy like an anchor pulling her down.

But she refused to look up, forcing herself to look at the people passing by, forcing herself so much that it almost seemed like it was having the opposite effect on her.

“Come here quickly! It’s the best sight to see the fireworks!”

“Can you believe it? 2019 is just one minute away!”

“Mom! Dad! Hurry up!”

“I’m so happy to be here with you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Different voices, different people, all filled with an excitement that Seulgi could not relate to.

The street grew busier with people coming out of their houses to watch the soon-upcoming fireworks.

Seulgi pushed herself off the wall and walked towards an empty bench near the entrance of the park.

It was quieter and the trees made sure to cover the sky just enough to make her calm.

She sighed to her as she looked down at the nearly empty cup in her hands and she found some resemblance of herself within it.

Seulgi drank the last bit of alcohol as she heard the crowd countdown the last ten seconds of 2018.

She could barely hear the shouting, the laughter, the I-love-yous and the thunderous thuds of the fireworks, as she felt her sinking deeper and deeper.

Feeling lonelier and emptier.

And just as the tears threatened to fall, she suddenly felt someone sit next to her, making her hold them in as quickly as she could.

She didn’t want to have another breakdown in the presence of a stranger.

Seulgi quickly wiped the tears off, rubbing them pretending to be tired, before looking the person sitting next beside her.

Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of the girl.

Her sharp side profile, accentuated by her high ponytail, her big dark brown eyes and a small but charming and warm smile.

“Hey… are you okay?”

Her voice sounded like honey, a reliever to all of her pain. And for a moment, she felt more complete.

“Uh…”, Seulgi gulped. “Yea… yea, I’m okay…”

“Are you sure?”, the girl frowned.

“Yeah… don’t worry. I’ll be fine”, Seulgi said, unsure of her own words.

“Okay. If you so say so…”, she smiled a subtle smile, before looking away, her gaze trained on the crowd not too far from them, people excitedly laughing and hugging and drinking under the lightened night sky. “Seems like the fireworks look beautiful, judging by the crowd.”

Seulgi shrugged.

“I guess they are.”

“You don’t sound very convinced”, the girl chuckled. “Not a fan of fireworks?”

The monolidded girl shrugged again.

“I wouldn’t say a fan but… I do… did like it”

“What changed?”

Seulgi let out a scoff.

“Let’s say I came to dislike everything related to the sky lately…”

The girl didn’t answer, just slightly tilting her head in thought.

“I know how you feel…”, she broke the silence with a whisper.

Seulgi raised her eyebrows in surprise, nearly snapping her head towards the raven.

“Does your dislike also have to do with… the stars?”

Seulgi bit her lip and nodded in response.

“Yea, it’s the same with me as well”, she let a small chuckle, before turning more serious. “I grew up scared of those two stars in the sky. Scared of seeing one of them fall…”

Seulgi didn’t answer, but she made sure to listen to every word she was saying.

“I’ve seen what happened to my dad, my aunt and my sister… they all saw falling stars… and… seeing the despair on their faces and how much agony they went through made me afraid of experiencing the same. All of my life I had been so focused on finding the one destined for me… and in the end I realized how much of a toll it took on me. And besides…”

She slightly smiled. Such a simple gesture, but a heavy effect on the monolidded girl as she felt her insides being tickled and her cheeks burning hot.

“I also realized that maybe… maybe it’s not a good thing to push destiny. My sister ended up falling in love with someone else and the funny thing is that everybody who sees them thinks they are soulmates… or star-soulmates as how she likes to call it. And it made me realize that you shouldn’t force love, you know? It will come to you eventually.”

Seulgi smiled back.

“I couldn’t agree more…”

“Did the same happen to you?”

“No. Not with falling stars. I was never really scared of it, I guess. Or to be honest, I’d never really thought about it. I didn’t want to… for me… I had this idea that my soulmate would miraculously cure me from everything. All the sadness, emptiness… pain… it was all I thought about you know? It was like… my drive. My only reason to live…”

The girl scooted a bit closer to her, and Seulgi didn’t move away.

“I realized that… this whole destiny and stars thing… that I was too obsessed with it. That I was so focused on the idea of my soulmate bringing me the happiness that I wanted, that… that it was having the complete opposite effect on me… I’d never felt as depressed and deprived of my will to live as then… and by ‘then’ I mean a few days ago”, Seulgi quietly chuckled. “The more I chased after it… the farther away it got from me… so… I decided to stop looking up. I decided to stop chasing after clouds and to stay more grounded.”

“I hope you will find the happiness you deserve…”, the girl said, her voice merely above a whisper.

“I hope you will as well…”

Seulgi look at her and she looked back. And for some reason, the taller girl had never felt calmer and more alive.

“If we are being honest right now… then I would like to say that talking to you has made me feel better. I usually never open up to people like this… and it feels… weird. In a good way…”

“I’m glad. I love talking to you as well…’’

Seulgi extended her arm towards the girl.

“Seulgi. My name is Seulgi.”

The raven’s smile grew as she gently grabbed the taller girl’s hand, holding it in her own. Warm and safe.

That’s how it felt to Seulgi.

“I’m Jo-”

“Joohyun! There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”, an all-too-familiar voice exclaimed. “Wait… Seul? Don’t tell me you guys already knew each other as well.”

The raven frowned.

“As well?”

“Well yeah…”, Yongsun scratched her head. “She already seemed to know your sister, so that was a surprise…”

“Yerim… Yerim is your sister?’’, Seulgi’s eyes widened, before realization hit her.

_Now that I think about it, that story about her story having met someone who wasn’t her star-soulmate did sound too familiar…._

“Yea… do you know her?”, Joohyun’s eyes widened as well.

“Well… not really… we just talked for a bit after… having bumped into each other.”

“Woah, the world truly is small!”, Yerim laughed, clearly amused by the situation.

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t go back home to be honest”, Jennie smirked.

“I was thinking about it”, Joohyun briefly paused, taking a look at the girl seated next to her, a tiny smirk on the corner of her lips. “But I got a bit… distracted.”

Feeling herself getting flustered and being stared at, not only by Joohyun but her two friends as well who were looking at her with mischievous smirks on their face and wiggling their eyebrows, Seulgi quickly directed her gaze at the soft snow covered grass underneath her shoes secretly wishing for a bucket full of ice to be poured down on her as she felt herself burning in flames.

And her friends seemed eager to bathe her in gasoline.

She then knew that that night would be one hell of a long one.

As well as unforgettable.

***

“If you had to choose your favourite constellation, which one would you choose?”

Seulgi frowned in confusion at the sudden question.

“That’s kind of a hard question… it’s been a long time since I’ve actually stargazed, and besides, it’s been a few months since I’ve even saw the sky…”

“Haven’t you ever decided on one while stargazing for the first time?”

Seulgi shook her head.

“No… not really… how about you?”

Joohyun tapped her chin and the monolidded girl smiled at the gesture, feeling the same fuzziness in her stomach even though she was looking at the raven through a screen.

“Me neither… not really… I’ve searched up pictures of constellations though. I liked the Ursa Major one and Orion. I heard the latter is the most popular one.”

“And big. Apparently, it’s hard to miss”, Seulgi chuckled.

“I hope one day I’ll get over my fear, so I can search for the constellations myself.”

“I think you will.”

“Really?”

“Yea.”

“How can you be so certain?”

Seulgi shrugged.

“I don’t know. I just feel it. And besides… the day you will look at the sky, will be the day when you have found your happiness and thrown away your fears. And to be honest… you deserve it. You deserve to be happy. So don’t worry too much… it will happen. Trust me.”

Joohyun smiled as she looked away from the camera to her hands resting on her lap.

“Thanks…”, she said, her voice merely above a whisper.

Seulgi rested her chin on her knees as she observed the raven.

The longer she looked, the more she was convinced that the older girl was more beautiful than any star or constellation in the sky.

“I think I should go. It’s getting late and I’ve to wake up in 6 hours’’, the raven sighed, letting out a small chuckle.

Seulgi smiled.

“Yeah, you should…’’

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah… definitely… sleep well, Joohyun.’’

“Sleep well.”

Seulgi continued to observe the girl, not wanting to be the one to quit the conversation.

She observed how Joohyun bit her lip, before looking into the camera again, knocking the air out of her lungs because of the sudden eye contact.

“You know… ever since I’ve met you, I’ve been feeling happier than ever before.’’

The taller girl felt herself heat up at the unexpected statement, her cheeks burning hot and her heart drumming in her ears.

She opened her mouth to answer, to say anything, to say that she felt the same, but no words came out.

Joohyun smirked, having noticed Seulgi’s loss for words.

“Sleep well, Seul”, she chuckled.

“Y-yea”, was all Seulgi could mutter, waving back instead of attempting to speak, knowing fully well she would fail to do so.

The camera went black and yet Joohyun was still all Seulgi could see, as she replayed the last few minutes in her head.

Joohyun was all she could think about.

***

“You know what’s funny?”, Joohyun asked as they walked together through the park where they had first met 6 months prior.

“What?”, Seulgi tilted her head slightly to the right to take a better look at the raven.

“All of my friends and family hug me from above. No matter whether they are shorter or taller. All of them do that, except you. You always hug me from below.”

The taller girl scratched her head.

“Really?”

Joohyun nodded.

“Wow… I… I’ve never noticed”, Seulgi thought back on some of the times they had hugged, the corners of her lips immediately curling up.

“It’s pretty funny, right?”

“Well, I guess I’m special then”, the monolidded girl playfully remarked.

Joohyun lightly smiled as she looked at the grass underneath their feet and the taller girl couldn’t help but stare at the way her lashes gently stroked her light-red cheeks and how her lips curled up into a smile.

“Yes… yes, you are…”

Seulgi felt her heart skip a beat.

“You are very special…”, Joohyun said looking into the taller girl’s eyes.

“Uh… thanks…”, Seulgi awkwardly muttered, not knowing how to respond.

Joohyun laughed, the sound like a melody in the taller girl’s ears, a song she wished she could repeat until the end of times.

“You’re welcome.”

***

Seulgi caressed the raven’s back and observed the way her shoulders subtly moved up and down in correspondence to her soft breaths as she slept soundly in her arms.

She thought about how the shorter girl had become terrified because of the sound of the thunder and the growing storm three hours ago, trapping her in her apartment and causing for the raven to search for comfort in her arms, falling asleep sooner than Seulgi had expected.

She pressed the raven closer to herself and let out a satisfied sigh, sleep overtaking her as she found herself drowning in Joohyun’s warmth, calming her heart and filling the empty space in her soul.

***

Seulgi couldn’t recall how it had all had happened, how things had led to this.

Her thoughts had become blurred, her mind filled with forms of Joohyun.

Joohyun, Joohyun and only Joohyun.

Her nose could only smell the scent of lavender, the scent of her, her lips could only taste her, and her skin could only feel her.

Her warmth, her touch.

How she softly dug her nails in the taller girl’s back, her other hand holding on to her shoulder.

How her breath stroked her lips as they parted to catch their breath, before closing the distance once again.

“I love you, Seul. I love you.”

It was all she could hear, those words replaying in her head like a broken record, tears streaming down her face at sincerity in Joohyun’s voice.

She pressed the shorter girl closer to herself, deepening the kiss, hoping that she could feel her own sincerity as well.

Hoping that it would convey the message she wanted Joohyun to hear, to feel and remember.

That she loved her too, and that she would always will.

***

“Why are you running? I just want to hug youuu”, Seulgi pouted and wove her arms around as she ran after the older girl.

“If by hugging me, you mean tickling me to death, then no thank you!”

“Oh, come on Hyun! You can’t run forever… besides…”, the monolid girl grinned. “I’m faster than you anyways.”

Just as those words had left her mouth, Seulgi lurched forward in a sprint, quickly diminishing the distance between them.

“YAH! KANG SEULGI!”, Joohyun yelled. She wasn’t even sure anymore whether she was yelling or laughing, but it was sucking the air out of her lungs either way and draining her energy.

Soon, Seulgi caught up to Joohyun and wrapped her arms around her waist as her fingers eagerly tickled the older girl.

“S-s-stop i-m-m-mediately!”, she weakly protested, her laughter more powerful than her words.

Joohyun put her hands over Seulgi’s, attempting to unsuccessfully loosen her grip around her waist.

“I-If you don’t let go, then I’ll-”

“You will what?”, Seulgi raised her eyebrows in curiosity, her smirk growing.

“I’ll take you down with me!”, Joohyun said before suddenly grabbing Seulgi tightly by her wrists and launching herself to the ground taking the taller girl down with her.

She quickly positioned herself on top of the monolid girl and held her arms next to her head on the ground.

“Ha! Gotcha!”, Joohyun grinned, proud of her victorious strategy.

Seulgi blinked a few times, slowly processing what had happened during the last three seconds before letting out a chuckle upon realizing she was being pinned against soft grass.

“Good job…”, she gently smiled as she looked into the older girl’s eyes.

A faint hint of red appeared on the latter’s cheeks and her grin disappeared.

They remained in that same position, merely looking at each other, taking in as much detail as they could, the sight both calming and filling their hearts with content, as the wind softly blew through their hair, the sound of giggling children playing distant as well as the constant murmuring and laughter of other people who were happy to spend in sunny weather and were busy gathering their stuff in order to prepare for dinner outside as the sky slowly darkened.

Joohyun bit her lip and gently leaned towards the taller girl, slowly closing any distance between their lips as well as her eyes.

Resulting in her missing the mischievous look in Seulgi’s eyes and the growing smirk on her face.

“Unfortunately, I can’t let you win just like that”, the monolid whisper before quickly freeing her wrists from Joohyun’s weak grip, wrapping her arms around the older girl and swapping places.

She grinned at the girl lying underneath her.

“Gotcha twice!”

Joohyun pouted in the way that she knew melted Seulgi like ice cream under the hot sun.

“Unfair…”

“Everything is fair in love and war”, the monolid playfully stuck her tongue out, making the older girl scoff in response.

Her grin formed itself into her previous gentle smile as she smoothly ran her hands from Joohyun’s wrists down to her waist, carefully lifting her up in order to place them on her back and wrap her into an embrace.

The frown on Joohyun’s face disappeared in order to match the taller girl’s smile. She playfully rolled her eyes before putting her arms around Seulgi’s neck, bringing them even closer together.

“You’re such a nerd…”, she whispered against Seulgi’s lips.

“I know you like it”, the monolid quietly chuckled.

“You’re wrong about that…”, Joohyun said as their lips brushed against each other. “I love it.”

She gave her a quick and gentle kiss.

“I love you.”

Seulgi caressed the older girl’s back, her fingers slowly running up and down.

“I love you too.”

And with that, the last bit of distance between their mouths disappeared.

The older girl wrapped her legs around Seulgi’s, pulling her closer.

Seulgi pressed her against herself, desperately wanting to feel all of her, indulge herself into all of her senses and beyond.

She felt how Joohyun filled the empty space in her heart. How her soul yearned for her.

For all of her.

And nothing else.

No one else.

Just her.

They broke their kiss to grasp for some air.

As they looked into each other’s eyes, Joohyun’s fingers gently ran from Seulgi’s shoulders to her neck and her cheek, gently cupping it.

And they stayed like that for a few minutes.

“I love you”, Joohyun whispered once again, her voice filled with affection and certainty.

“I love you too, Joohyun…”

The older girl put her hands on Seulgi’s shoulders and pulled her close, burying her face in her neck and slightly tightening her grip.

As if she wanted to drown in her warmth.

Joohyun momentarily closed her eyes, focusing on the taller girl’s movements, the way she held her tightly, the way her fingers caressed her and calmed her heart.

Until the sudden screaming of children made her jolt.

“Give me the ball!”

“No! I want to try it one more time!”

“But it’s my turn!”

“I don’t care!”

“Tzuyu… give Chaeyoung the ball… it’s her turn.”

“But mom-”

“No buts! Give her the ball or you will not eat your favourite tonight!”

“…okay mom…”

Joohyun let out a sigh before softly chuckling.

“Well, that startled me…”

“I felt it… then again, everything startles you”, Seulgi said, earning a soft slap on her shoulder.

“Quiet you”, Joohyun smiled.

She slowly opened her eyes.

However, what she did not expected was to witness a sky filled with brightness. Or rather two objects.

As if the sun had split into two and ascended to the earth in all its glory.

And she felt her breath get caught in her throat at the sight.

Hearing the older girl’s gasp, Seulgi immediately frowned in worry, her heartbeat accelerating at the thought of something bad happening to Joohyun.

“What’s wrong?”

Upon hearing no answer, she quickly loosened her grip and distanced herself slightly from the older girl, just enough to hold her in her arms while being able to look at her face.

And seeing the look of bewilderment in Joohyun’s eyes as she stared at something which seemed to be up there, the thought of the sky quickly popped up in Seulgi’s mind.

“They are… they are so bright…”, Joohyun whispered.

“Y-you… you mean the stars?”, Seulgi asked, knowing very well what the answer would be.

Joohyun slowly nodded, her eyes still fixed on the sight above them.

Seulgi felt her heart shatter at the thought of Joohyun’s soulmate being near.

What if she decided to leave her?

After all, according to the grand scheme of things… wasn’t she merely just a second place?

“Ah…”, she forced a smile. “And? Is it as beautiful as they say? Their brightness?”

“It is…”

Seulgi couldn’t help but look away from the older girl’s face, feeling the oh-so-familiar empty place in her heart increasing the longer she observed her.

Just as she began to loosen her grip even more, planning to distance herself from Joohyun to give her some space, she felt nails digging deeper into her shoulders.

“Seulgi. Don’t.”

The monolid girl gulped.

“It’s okay, Hyun. I jus-”

“Look at me.”

Seulgi took a deep breath and did as Joohyun told her, hearing the firm tone in her voice

Who could counterargue Joohyun when she sounded so determined?

“Yes, it’s beautiful… I’ve never seen something like this before…”, the older girl briefly paused to look into the taller girl’s eyes. “But that is all. It doesn’t mean anything else to me. If it’s not you, then I don’t care.”

“Aren’t you curious though? I mean… your soulmate is near… they are the one destined to be with you… I’m merely just second place…”

“Don’t say something like that again”, Joohyun said, her voice slightly raising. “I just told you that I don’t care. Seulgi, you are not second place. You are first place and will always be. Even if they suddenly appeared out of thin air right here in front of me, I would still choose you. I only want you and no one else.”

Seulgi bit her lip as she heard Joohyun’s heartfelt words, feeling her own heart slightly calm down. A few tears burned behind her eyes, threatening to fall.

Joohyun cupped her cheek.

“And I hope you never forget that. I don’t say things I don’t mean. And I meant every word I said…”

Seulgi quickly rubbed her eyes to prevent them from getting wet.

“Sorry… I… I shouldn’t have doubted you…”

Joohyun pressed her against herself and rubbed the taller girl’s shoulders and back.

“It’s okay… I understand…”, she said before gently kissing Seulgi’s cheek.

The monolid girl smiled at the action and mirrored it.

“So… how does it feel to see the sky after all these years?”, Seulgi asked out of pure curiosity.

“It’s beautiful… I forgot how the sunset looked like…”

“It must be quite a sight’’, Seulgi chuckled.

“Want to see it?”

She thought about it. There was no reason left for her to not look, since she had indeed fulfilled the promise to herself to not let the entirety of her happiness be controlled by something beyond her power.

To not desperately search for the one that her star pointed to and be teared down by obsession, but let her own feet and heart take her whenever they wanted.

And now that it had happened, there was no more reason to be afraid.

“I don’t see why not”, she shrugged with a faint smile on her face, before letting herself roll on her back while keeping one of her arms wrapped around Joohyun’s waist.

With one deep breath, Seulgi opened her eyes to look at a sight she had never thought to ever see again.

And it was beautiful.

The darkening sky painted in strokes of orange and pink, golden rays shining through the remainders of clouds, the sun bidding its farewell kiss to the moon.

However, that was not what had caught her attention.

No.

It were the two shining stars that had captivated her, as bright as the day she had lost her soulmate in the busy crowd. A sight she had never thought to ever see again.

Her lips quivered as epiphany struck her like a lightning bold, filling her body with electricity and bringing tears to her eyes.

“Hyun… I can see them… I can see the bright stars as well.”

Joohyun frowned in confusion before her eyes widened, getting filled with tears as realization struck her.

The realization that they had been each other’s destiny all along.

***

“Hyun?”

“Hm?”

“Do you remember when you asked me what my favourite constellation was?”

“Yes?”

“I think I finally know.”

“You do?”

“Yea.”

“Which one is it?”

“Ours.”

“Hm… funny…”

“What?”

“That’s my favourite as well…”

“Ah… that’s indeed a very funny coincidence.”

“I love you, Seulgi.”

“I love you too, Joohyun.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here is my first work posted on AO3, hope you enjoyed it! :)


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